I’m an absolute loser. My win rate as far as the Tabletop Battles app is concerned is 30.8%. And I don’t really mind. On the Joshing Around in Eä podcast we’ve frequently oversimplified that Josh is the numbers guy who wins every game, the other Josh is the painter whose army looks beautiful, and I’m the one who just plays for the fun of it. There’s speculation that Para Bellum awarded me a prize literally because I lose so much without complaining.

And it’s sort of true. Any time I set up a table for a game there’s a stoic acceptance somewhere inside that I’m going to lose. Again. Probably spectacularly. And, truly, I don’t really mind. I play because I like to play, and I’d also like to win, but I’d like to win in the same way that I’d probably like to win a marathon if I were to ever run one, despite the fact that I won’t even run for the bus.

The Problem

What is definitely true, however, is that the predictability of the win actually isn’t that fun for anyone. I’d like to at least feel like I could have won, and both of the Joshes would like to feel like they’ve earned their win rather than having had it served up to them on the proverbial drybrushed platter.

When it comes to Conquest, I live in a state of being perpetually pulverised. I tend to favour aggressive armies, so I might score first, and so the only question is on which turn the result is confirmed. If I don’t score first, I may as well get the dustpan and brush out  to sweep up my army on turn 3.

And so – while pouring out one of those horrendous sour drinks that Josh adores and I don’t understand – we came up with the idea of testing out a handicap system to balance the playing field.

The Joshing Around in Eä System of Handicaps (JAESH): AKA Making Josh run with a parachute

It started with Josh turning up one week with a list that was less than 2,000 points on purpose. He said he thought it might give him a little challenge to see how low he could end up taking the list while still feeling confident he’d win.

Don’t worry mate, none taken.

The game did feel marginally closer, though, and so we sat down and properly thought through how it ought to work. Nobody wants to have to fully redesign their list every week, so we came up with a simple concept: If you win three games in a row, next game you play with a 50 point handicap. Lose three in a row and you can take 50 points off your handicap.

The dream outcome ought to be that we each have a 50% chance of winning every game. That keeps it fun, keeps it fair, and offers an interest bit of cognitive challenge between games.

It would also give us the experience of what it’s like to play an eighth round.

How the Test Is Going

Yesterday evening Josh and I played our tenth game since starting the experiment (the original name he gave the game in the app was Sam10). I’m still at 2,000 points, and he’s now at 1,850 (JAESH rating: 150 – too early for us to copyright this?). I won last week, he won this week, and man was it close.

The dice played their part in the game – they’re meant to, there’s a lot of dice rolling that happens in a game of Conquest – and his decisions were better than mine, fair enough, but the result felt like it could have gone either way. That’s quite a different experience from six months ago, when I’d go to bed reflecting that I literally couldn’t have done anything any better and he still beat me 96-4.

So, at this early stage it’s delivering exactly what a brilliant wargame ought to. Tension, drama, laughter, frustration, sweaty palms, the lot.

What Makes JAESH work?

The handicaps do more than simply make the game a bit more fun. We’ve been playing Conquest regularly for years now, and we were already enjoying ourselves. But it offers some new experiences that might make it worth experimenting in your own context:

1. It gets the edge back.

Games feel fresher when you have no idea what the outcome might be at the beginning of the night. The rare ties that Conquest offers tend to feel like truly memorable games. The dominant player has to rethink assumptions that might have been holding them back from being even better, and the underdog is now properly competing. That’s good for morale and good for the overall maturity of the local meta.

2. It catalyses greater variety.

As a fixed number, 2,000 points generates variations on a theme. One week someone might bring more Legionnaires and the next more Varangians, but there are certain pillars that remain the same, game after game. 1,950 might be as simple as one less Brute Drones stand, or might need a fundamental rework of the list approach. With a different target number there needs to be more creativity, which can lead to more varied and interesting games.

3. It offers real learning opportunities.

We might like the idea that over time we get better at playing the game, but I know for myself that once the game’s a done deal I care less about my card order. With a closer match, I’m naturally incentivised to play harder. I make smarter decisions in different battlefield positions and have the chance to try out new playstyles.

4. It boosts long-term engagement.

I don’t mind wearing the mantel of the perpetual loser. It’s fun enough for me to be in the same room as other human beings, drinking beer and rolling dice. But I fully empathise with people who try out the game and want to enjoy it but don’t enjoy getting steamrolled on repeat. JAESH might be the thing that reinvigorates people to paint, plan and play, and that means that we all win.

Embracing Balance

Balance is a core idea in Conquest. Every faction is at war within itself, and with everything else, held in a constant state of tension. I reckon we can recreate that in our gaming groups to give games the right stakes, struggle and underdog victories.

So allow this to be your excuse to tell your local champion that next game they’re playing at 1,950 points. Make them have to think about the game again. Give the faithful members a fighting chance. This ultimately isn’t about “fairness” – we all know whose going to win in a “fair” fight – it’s about fun.

Let’s keep those dice rolling, reintroduce unpredictability, and embrace the experience of seeing you-know-who win for the first time in months and dance around the gaming table like a lunatic.

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