Happy Friday, dear readers, and welcome to the launch of a new weekly article here on Goonhammer, “Mayday, Miss Marcy!” In the spirit of classic advice columns like Dear Abby and Miss Manners, your ol’ pal Marcy is here to help you out with your burning questions. Was it rude of your opponent to throw metal dice into the middle of the table? (Yes.) Were you the asshole when it came to your interaction at a convention? (Maybe.) Was it your fault that your wife got mad at you for double booking your anniversary with Adepticon? (Also yes.) When is the best time to start spraypainting your models, actually? (Now.) These and many more questions can be yours to ask and have answered!
“But Marcy, how do I ask for your wisdom?”
Well, it’s very simple dear! Patrons can find a new feature in the Discord that will forward burning questions to me anonymously, where I will do my best to provide you with only the finest in hand-crafted near middle-aged queer womanly advice, artisanal and homemade. Not a patron? Well, you should certainly consider becoming one for all of the other benefits that we provide, but fear not: I will be selecting one reader comment question per week from the article as well to help you feel included and perhaps motivated to join our Patreon and get in on the fun!
Of course, there’s a few little ground rules that we need to establish, so please consider that this is NOT licensed legal, psychiatric, relationship, or other forms of care; just personal advice. If my answer gets you divorced, that’s not my fault! I will be selecting the questions that I feel are the most interesting to answer, and repeated question submissions will be ignored (and probably get you in trouble with Greg for spamming the Discord). I may also not answer questions in the order received, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be answering them at a later date; sometimes it may just depend on variety or my mood at the time.
Please submit questions in the following format:
“Miss Marcy,
[Question here!]
-[Non-identifying name for me to refer to you as, such as ‘Skaven in Seattle’, or ‘Airbrushed in Albuquerque.’]
You can expect “Mayday, Miss Marcy!” to come your way every Wednesday starting next week, so if you have questions you’re just itching to have answered, make your way over to the Discord (or comment below, you non-Patrons you) and ask away! I look forward to receiving your letters and doling out my patented advice formula (I will type words at you). Until next time, dear readers!
Have any questions or feedback? Drop us a note in the comments below or email us at contact@goonhammer.com. Want articles like this linked in your inbox every Monday morning? Sign up for our newsletter. And don’t forget that you can support us on Patreon for backer rewards like early video content, Administratum access, an ad-free experience on our website and more.
