So there I was, minding my own business in the Goonhammer Historicals Discord when someone posted a link to Warlord Games’ Mystery Box promotion. I was working on the last big chunk of Normans for my Saga warband and thought, ‘Hey, that sounds like it could be fun!’ A little support (enabling) from friends and an approved idea for an article series and I was ready to take the plunge. Have I ever played Hail Caesar? No. Do I know anyone who plays Hail Caesar? Again, no. Do I have a lot of experience with historical wargaming? You guessed it! No. But I love army projects and I love a good bit. And this is a heck of a bit.
The Commitment
The scope of the project was thus: I would order a Hail Caesar mystery box army. I would build and paint the army in its entirety and document the process. Hilariously, my friend Eric (VarianceHammer) really doubled down on his enabling tendencies and committed to creating an opposing force for whatever arrived in the Mystery Box. The two of us would work towards a weekend of gaming with our forces and document it for those who wish to follow our descent to madness during this Sisyphean task.
The Promo
The promotion was to spend $160 on a mystery army box and receive a playable army for your chosen ruleset. The dollar value of the army would be at least double the $160 buy-in. Boxes were offered for a number of their miniature ranges/settings, including ‘Pike & Shotte’, ‘Black Powder & Black Seas’, ‘Epic Battles’ (tempting), and ‘Hail Caesar’. The fun part was it could be any army they make for any era or faction covered by that ruleset/setting.
The Choice
I opted for the Hail Caesar box as it was 28mm scale, had a good chance of being a plastic army (with some notable exceptions), and generally spanned a period of human history and conflict I would have been engaged with bringing to life on the table. Hail Caesar spans the beginnings of human civilization in the Levant during the Bronze Age (Akkadians/Hittites/Etc) to the War of the Roses (1455-1485). I love ancient mythology and art history in general, but particularly ancient Levantine history and Greco/Roman history (more Greco than Roman). Regardless of what came, I was going to enjoy the project, but felt I had a better than average chance of landing in a time period I was actively interested in.
That, of course, depended entirely on what was shipped. We joked about receiving an all pewter New Kingdom Egyptian army. Or perhaps a pewter Mitanni chariot army! Sea Peoples? Gallic Celts? We figured it probably wouldn’t be the most popular model ranges, i.e. Imperial Romans, Vikings, Greeks, etc., but the fun was in the not knowing! It wasn’t until about a week after placing the order that I realized I may have bitten off quite a chunk of project. I was browsing the website and noticed that the Starter Army for Greeks came with 156 Hoplites.
The Starter Army boxes are HALF the dollar value of the Mystery Box Army. “There’s a non-zero chance this box shows up with over 200 models in it.” “Warlord’s Mystery Box for 2025: Oops, All Hoplites!” “What would you even do with 200+ Hoplites?!” Such comments were thrown around Discord with complete disregard for the consequences. If I’ve learned anything from Greek Mythology, is that one does not profit from tempting the gods. Hobby gods in particular.
The Unboxing
I opened the box, laughed heartily, and immediately got Eric on Facetime to do the reveal. Spartans! Greeks! Hoplites! Wait, how many Hoplites?
The Contents
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY. Two hundred and fifty Hoplites. The hobby gods do have a sense of humor. I was very, very pleased with having received a Spartan army, truth be told. No, not because of the movie. This is a force I could very easily sink my teeth into and that I want to see come to life!
In the box were:
- (2) Pewter Spartan Generals
- (3) Pewter Later Spartan Command
- (16) Pewter Greek Slingers
- (160) Spartan Hoplites
- (40) Classical Greek Phalanx (Hoplites)
- (42) Early Greek Hoplites
- (8) Free Bonus Sprue of……..Early Greek Hoplites!
- Army Lists book (Biblical to Early Medieval)
A grand total of 271 models with the army list book (and only 21 of them were pewter!). What an absolutely screaming deal! The book was a nice surprise, as I was expecting only minis. I will be doing model kit reviews and project logistics in later articles.
So You Have Acquired 250 Hoplites, et Plus. Now What?!
I do have to admit I sat in the initial shock of the whole thing for a bit. Just the sheer size of the undertaking and the unfamiliarity of the rule set had me questioning my life choices for a minute. I consider myself a very efficient painter and have a swath of finished projects under my belt that I’m very proud of. I paint, on average, 200-300 miniatures a year to what I consider a high standard. Certainly the project was doable, but I don’t just want to paint Hoplites for the next 18 months. I needed to get a defined scope of the final army and then break that vision into manageable chunks.
I’ll do a modeling/painting process article once I get rolling, but I find the initial ‘fencing in’ and visualization of a project really rewarding. This is the vision that will sustain my fervor as I work my way through hundreds of Hoplites. I want this to be a grand project. A project of a scope I have not undertaken before. I want Eric to be standing on the other side of the table shaking his head as I unpack rank after rank after rank after rank of Hoplites. And then more Hoplites. Supported by Hoplites. And the 16 Slingers. It’s going to be great.
I feel that at this juncture it is very important to note that the final vision and scope of this project was and is completely divorced from gameplay considerations beyond ‘being legal to play in the game’. It is also divorced from hard deadlines. These two things make visualizing and planning a project like this fun and not prone to inducing crippling anxiety attacks and crises of confidence.
The Vision (Or, “Wait, What Do You Mean More Hoplites?!”)
It wasn’t until I posted the contents of the Mystery Box to the Discord and Lenoon said “We should really top this off with a review…of each of the Victrix Hoplites sets right?” that the final scope of the project hove into view. He was kidding, but a seed was planted. *Caveat: I am aware of how insane the reasoning in the following paragraphs is, and I do not apologize for it even a little. I love this part of the process.*
Victrix makes some great kits for this era. Kits I’ll be happy to review and include in the force alongside the Mystery Box Spartans! Those kits will be:
- (48) Spartan Armoured Hoplites
- (48) Greek Hoplites
- (12) Horse Archers (Scythians and Parthians)
- (12) Macedonian Greek Successor Heavy Cavalry
What’s 120 more models between friends? Only 96 more Hoplites! I’ll be able to do the Battle of Thermopylae 1:1 at 28mm scale! The Victrix Hoplites are newer sculpts and more detailed and better armored, so they will serve as the well funded elite of the already elite army. Nice big blocks of well heeled champions will stand out in the army, even alongside so many other Hoplite Phalanxes. The cavalry will help in-game but really Victrix just makes phenomenal Cavalry models and I think they’ll add a lot visually to the army.
Because I got stuck on a couple of unit sizes with the Warlord Greek Hoplites units, I did order two sets of (3) pewter Greek Command to give me 48 Classical Greek Hoplites and 48 Early Greek Hoplites.
I spent a lot of time over the past few days determining unit sizes, how many ranks of how many models in each unit, multi-basing vs. individual bases in movement trays, whether to make some models available to use in other systems, etc. I’ve arrived at the final scope, and it is daunting. It is also exciting and will be a marvelous accomplishment when finished. I’m really excited to get started.
Warlord Games Models (Mystery Box Army) – 271 models
- Hoplites: Multi-basing on Sarissa Precision MDF 40mm square bases w/ movement tray (models 2×2 on each 40mm base) Link
- Spartan Generals and Command on 30mm Square Bases Link
- 5 units of 32 Spartans
- ranks 8 wide, 4 deep
- 2 units of 48 Greek Hoplites w/ Command
- ranks 8 wide, 6 deep
- 2 units of 8 slingers on 20mm square bases
Victrix Models (Voluntary Add-on) – 120 models
- All models based individually for use in Saga and other games
- 48 Greek and 48 Spartan Hoplites
- Cavalry on ‘pill’ bases
- Horse Archers on individual bases
- Heavy Cavalry in ranks 6 wide, 2 deep
- Movement tray from Sarissa Precision MDF
Grand Total: 391 models
Resolution
Sure, that’s more models than I’ve painted in the past couple of years, but that’s the bit and that’s where the fun lies. One of the things I love about this hobby is the aspirational quality of getting stuck into an idea and a new project. I love this project’s scope. I love the largesse. I love that the numbers all fit really nicely together on the page. I love visualizing all those round shields ranked up and arrayed for war. And I’m really going to love figuring out the process to actually see this through. Much, much more to come!
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