Howdy everyone and welcome to an article I accidentally titled “Mech Overview: Grendel” for a moment. We are back in Clan medium mech territory with the Ice Ferret, a name which sounds adorable for a mech that looks like a suspiciously shapely HVAC unit with legs. The great Clan cube is alive and well in this mech, and I love him. Canonically the Ice Ferret was replaced almost entirely with last week’s mech, the Viper, so it will be interesting to see how it stacks up. The Ice Ferret does have the advantage of being named after nature’s angriest tube though, so I already prefer it.

Just a little guy. Slightly distressed about how wide it’s hips are though. Weird proportions on this mech, most Battletech mechs are fairly top heavy so seeing one with so much ass that it’s hips and shoulders are the same width just looks weird in a way I have trouble putting into words. It’s hips don’t lie and it is here to kill.

Chassis

The Ice Ferret is a 45 ton Omni-Mech, meaning that all variants share the same base model underneath all the delicious clan weaponry. It moves 8/12/0 and has decent armor for the weight. More than a Viper but not a ton of armor overall. It is in the “Fat Light” category of medium mech, and really handles more like a Jenner than a Vindicator. It isn’t going to stand up to a super long sustained fight, but it has enough armor to slap something and and enough speed to dodge away. This is a good base chassis, a cool looking model built like a mini-fridge with a dumptruck ass and surely all the variants will be punchy brawlers with high efficiency Clan weapons that make a good use of it’s BV and speed.

Right?

Variants

These mechs have all been reviewed based on a standard F through S scale, which you can find described on our landing page here (along with all of our other ‘mech reviews, the name of the box you can buy to get any of the mechs we have covered, and our general methodology).

Prime

Welcome to robot hell.

The Ice Ferret Prime costs 1678 BV and carries an ER PPC, an ER small laser, a streak SRM-2, and an Active Probe just to waste some tonnage. This is not great. 1678 is heavy mech BV and the Ice Ferret Prime doesn’t even have jump jets. I have made my distaste for fast sniper type mechs known pretty frequently, and this is a pretty representative example. It is functionally an ER PPC with legs with some worthless backup guns, but the Pack Hunter does the same thing, for 300 less BV, and jumps. It does have about half the armor, but the speed and jumps are theoretically supposed to compensate the mech for the bad armor anyway. Fast Snipers are, in theory, hard to hit due to their speed allowing them to stay at a perpetually good range for them.

In practice this breaks down the moment something faster than them comes for them, or the moment they need to fight more than one mech, or the moment they can’t meaningfully outrange something. There are some weapons that outrange the ER PPC, and the main advantage, random headshot kills, is not worth the BV compared to a Gauss Rifle or something similar. On particularly open maps or against particularly immobile mechs it can easily outrange it can put in good work, so I don’t want it to seem like I am calling it useless. It has uses, but “Bullies Annihilators and Atlas’s” and “Rules the plains like Genghis Khan” are much more narrow than a lot of the general purpose type mechs that I tend to favor. I really think the chassis would be way better served with efficient short ranged guns that it can dart in, use, and get out. I dislike the theory of fast sniper mechs and rarely get any good use out of them, fast pulse and SRM boats are much more usable.

RATING: D

A

Costing an admittedly cheap 1323 BV, the Ice Ferret A carries 2 ER medium lasers, an anti-missile system, and an LBX-2. LBX-2s are funny weapons. They have a 10 hex short range, which seems fucking awesome, but they also do 2 damage. If you load cluster ammo, that is in 1 point clusters with a 60-ish percent chance to only get 1 point of damage instead of 2. So the LBX-2 isn’t a real weapon, looking at the actual guns on this mech, the ERML, 1323 BV is a bit too much to pay for 14 damage on a fast chassis. Suboptimal but cheap enough that it isn’t actively terrible, it just mounts one of the most worthless guns in the entire game.

And before you type your comment, yes it is sort of ok at annoying ASF and VTOLs, but if you play with a lot of ASF you are both on a watch list and also are bringing other Anti-Air units, and VTOLs are way easier to shoot down with Pulse and LBX-5s or LBX-10s.

RATING: D+

B

Ok this is a lot better. Costing a pretty reasonable (for a high end medium) 1461 BV, the Cold Mink B carries an ER large laser, a small pulse laser for some fucking reason, an SRM-4, and an SRM-6. The Clan ER large laser is an unexciting weapon, but is 10 daamge out to an 8 hex short range. LPL are a lot better, but they are notably undercosted in the current BV system. The SRMs are nice added value, you could load one with Infernos if you needed to kill conventional forces or overheat something, and if not it has a pretty obvious game plan of lasering someone for a while while running away and then moving in to sandblast them with SRMs. Not a terrible game plan, an OK price, and good speed make a much more functional medium mech than most Clan ones.

It will have trouble triggering a PSR on its own at long range though. It is best served operating with a partner mech, some sort of slower long range mech. They both lock on to a target, pew pew laser at him for a while, and then the Ice Ferret stage dives the target with SRMs and probably dies to secure the kill/crit seek for it’s larger buddy. Such is life, little ferret boy.

RATING: C+

C

Ice Ferret C, or Charlie, has an even lower price point at 1211 BV, a dangerously low amount for a Clan mech of any description. Makes sense though, its only weapons are 3 LRM-5s with Artemis IV and an ER small laser. That is sorta fine, super weird and not great but like, there is worse damage in the 1211 BV price bracket. It has no minimum range and a fuckton of ammo so it can shoot for ages, and I kinda like it? Like don’t get me wrong, this feels like a waste of the Chassis. Clan Omni-Mechs are usually this big purchase, a flashy status symbol to the world and your opponents. A statement that you are better than everyone else, your mechs are more expensive, that you stole from a nicer clothing shop than everyone else.

This feels like you bought an expensive ass car, but then filled it with cigarette butts and empty cans of red bull. The expense is there, the waste, the flashy, gaudy excessiveness of your Omni-Mech. But you are a common man. You didn’t need the expense, you won’t use it, and the status means nothing. Why wasn’t this like a Whitworth variant or something? Something cheaper, more dependable, less life-altering?

I dunno, honor or something. Clan military theory is fucking dumb sometimes. Still an OK mech, just not a great one. I’d take it over a base model 6R Warhammer or 3R Marauder any day of the week and I will knife fight you in a Denny’s parking lot to defend that.

RATING: C+

D

PRAISE KERENSKY IN HIS INFINITE WISDOM SOMEONE REALIZED WHAT THIS FUCKING MECH WAS GOOD AT!

Costing 1653 BV, not terrible for a Clan medium, the D carries 4 medium pulse lasers and an anti-missile system. The AMS is whatever but 4 MPL on a mech this fast with this much armor for that price is a goddam steal. This can control engagements with a lot of mechs super hard at 8/12, most 4/6 mechs will have absolutely no control what range the combat is happening at so the D can keep circling them at either 4 or 8 hexes away, depending on their optimal range. The Clan MPL is an incredibly good short and medium ranged weapon, as it functionally has an 8 hex short range and a 4 hex “Party Zone” where it just gets to hit you constantly. It is kind of boring, just some pulse, but this mech kicks ass, has an hourglass figure, and fills a slot in a list pretty well.

Sub-2000 BV Clan mechs are a somewhat rare breed and this is a fantastic use of BV that will easily fit into any Clan force as a 5th mech when you spent too much BV on Turkinas and Mad Cats. Efficient, low cost list filler is a phenomenal thing to have, and this is good filler. I might even take it in some mixed-tech formations. It would be pretty killer running in a wolf pack with some Locusts, adding a heavy hitter that can keep up with it’s little buddies.

RATING: A-, love it.

E

The Frigid Stoat E comes in at a reasonable 1483 BV and carries a very reasonable ER medium laser, ER small laser for some fucking reason, and an ATM-9 with 3 tons of ammo. I love ATMs, this is a fast ATM caddy that can easily make use of all 3 different ammo types. It is obviously best served firing HE ammo, and for the price this is a pretty decent little ATM dork. Not the best out there, but 27 damage from the ATM-9 HE ammo is pretty fucking cool at the same price point as a Banshee. Mech good, skirmishes well and has a nasty punch up close.

RATING: B+, wish it had a bigger ATM

F

The Ice Ferret F costs 1771 BV and carries 2 ER Large Lasers and a Watchdog CEWS. the Watchdog is a combination active probe and ECM, so it is fine but not game-winning unless you are up against a C3 lance, in which case it really shouldn’t be close enough to ever actually cancel C3 with it’s ECM, because it has ERLL. ECM requires you to be close, ERLL are best at long range. Bit of a nonbo. For the price this is not fantastic, you can get 2 10 damage hits for less than 1771 BV. It isn’t actively terrible and it has some good range on it, but I don’t find fast snipers super usable and this is a pretty expensive one. Still usable though, the base Ice Ferret chassis is just a pretty decent medium mech chassis and it takes variants a hell of a lot better than a Loki or a base model Vulture.

RATING: D+, not actively bad, just unexciting and overpriced.

G

Gregory the Ice Ferret costs a shockingly cheap 1196 BV and is an Infantry Guy design. It carries 2 ER small pulse lasers, 4 AP gauss rifles, 2 SRM-4s, and a light TAG. So the funny thing is, despite the frothing madness and hilarity of sending a whole ass expensive Omni-Mech to kill those fucking insects, this is not a bad set of weapons. Everything here does decent damage to mechs out to a decent range, while doing unholy things to those loser nerd infantrymen. It is the mech equivalent of sending a whole ass A-10 to flatten a 256 man Macedonian Phalanx, but when it isn’t burning ants with a magnifying glass and wondering why it’s first grade teacher seems so concerned, it does decent damage to other mechs.

It actually deals decent enough damage that I am straight up willing to call this a good mech. One of the best Clan mediums on price alone. 1196 BV is very cheap for this sort of mech, even by Inner Sphere medium mech standards this is a really reasonably priced one. It does only have a short range of 3 hexes on it’s guns, but 3 hexes is enough when you move 8/12 and have this much DPS. Much like a lot of the other Ice Ferrets, it really wants a partner in life and on the battlefield so that it can actually get things done. It would make a great operating partner to something with can opener type guns, so Gauss rifles, PPCs of any description, or AC-10s. Running this with a Blitzkrieg is a potentially very interesting idea. They move similar speeds and the Blitzkrieg can open some big holes with it’s UAC-20, and the Frigid Skunk G can poke at the skeleton of the enemy mech to do critical damage. I’ll need to try that combo out.

RATING: A, unholy death to dishonorable infantrymen and a whole bunch of tiny stab wounds for everything else. Gregory really is a superstar medium mech and I love him.

H

The Ice Ferret H is a representative example of why early heavy laser mechs, and the non-improved heavy laser in general, are just bad. It comes in at 1619 BV and carries 2 medium heavy lasers, an ER large laser, and an SRM-6. Basic heavy lasers have a +1 accuracy penalty and the same range as a basic Inner Sphere laser, but do double the damage of those IS basic lasers. This is bad, a +1 to hit bonus is fucking terrible in Battletech and these weapons are very expensive.

A brief aside about heavy lasers, they suffer from the same problem that actually makes Clan pulse overpowered. BV 2.0 doesn’t give nearly enough weight to to-hit modifiers. They don’t cost very much extra BV, so the Clan pulse is overpowered because it is getting a lot of extra accuracy for little BV penalty, and the heavy lasers suck ass because they don’t get a big BV rebate for being impossible to hit anything with. Basic heavy laser mechs will always disappoint you unless they have a targeting computer to counteract that penalty, and this mech does not. It is sort of fine but for this price there are other Ice Ferrets that do everything a fair bit better.

RATING: D-

I

The all-consuming I is a weird one. Costing 1096 BV this is dirt cheap by Clan standards, and is actually in the same price range as a lot of junky, crappy Inner Sphere medium mechs from 3025, which is pretty damn cheap. For weapons it carries 2 SRM-6s with 2 tons of ammo, 2 M-pods which are kickass shotgun knees that you can shoot once per game to paste some unclean and impure infantry or to add a tiny amount of damage to another mech if you are desperate, an ER small laser for some fucking reason, and a Bloodhound Active Probe. The Bloodhound is a very interesting tech piece, as it gives you an 8 hex bubble of “Fuck you, your stealth doesn’t work.” It makes Stealth Armor, Null Sigs, and all the other stealthy shenanigan a lot less good, and is similar to a significantly faster and better armored Javelin with backup weapons, even if the Bloodhound does nothing in your game.

I really like this mech, it is cheap, it has decent damage, it has shotgun knees, and it can make anyone who relies on tricky stealth tech very sad. All for around the same BV as a base model Hunchback. Love me a cheap mech.

RATING: A-

J

I AM BECOME LASER, THE STINGER OF MECHS.

The Freezerburned Weasel J is one of the most deranged canon record sheets I have ever seen. It looks like someone’s MWO loadout and is just a supremely fucking weird mech. Costing 1771 BV, it carries 10(!) ER small lasers and 2 heavy machineguns, because fuck infantry, that is what this mech needed, anti-infantry guns. It also has a targeting computer, so all of those ERSL are hitting more often, and also it has a Supercharger so it moves 8/12(16)/0. This is a ridiculously insane mech, very few mechs have that many small lasers and it can do 50 points of damage with them if they all hit. For the price this is pretty good, it can always get to point blank range to get a great meatshot off with all of those small lasers and then back off. It is best used in a similar fashion to a Locust, making attack runs like a plane, darting in, slapping someone, and darting back out before turning around and doing it again. 16 hexes is a lot of hexes to run.

I am just befuddled this is a canon record sheet. It is very much a tonnage efficiency nightmare mech, and it’ll kill the hell out of anything in it’s weight class in a 1v1 duel. It does lack long range damage, but with a 16 hex run in it’s back pocket when it needs it, I don’t think you will have any trouble getting Jerry into combat.

RATING: A-

K

Wow I guess whoever was designing these late model Ice Ferrets really was getting enough sleep, these all rock. The K costs 1769 BV and carries a large pulse laser, 2 ER medium lasers, and an ER small laser for some fucking reason. It also has a laser AMS, so it makes missile mechs very sad. This is a very efficient set of weapons and it is totally heat neutral. It can heat up if you use the LAMS though, so be careful about it. It has the speed to take what fights it wants and enough firepower to kill anything it can’t outrun. Good mech, few notes.

RATING: B+, held back by a comparatively high price.

L

Infantry guy returns in a blaze of glory and wasteful BV usage. Costing 1380 BV, the L is very wasteful. It carries a mighty plasma cannon (which only deals heat damage) and 3 AP gauss rifles, which are pretty good anti-infantry weapons with adequate anti-mech damage. That is already kinda mediocre, but the L doubles down and springs for a whole targeting computer for those anti-infantry guns. Infantry guy is paralyzed at the thought of missing an entire platoon of men with a weapon that scatters superheated plastic over a significant radius. This is a waste of an Omni-Mech, a waste of BV, and a waste of a targeting computer. Don’t take the L here, avoid this.

RATING: D-, held back from F purely by virtue of APGR being pretty good.

T

Costing too much at 1825 BV, the Refrigerated Pine Marten Tango carries a large improved heavy laser, an ER medium laser, an SRM-2, and an active probe. Also a supercharger so it can move the same as the much better J variant. LIHL are pretty good weapons, 16 damage a hit is a lot of damage to slap someone with. The issue here is that it only mounts one and it is pretty damn expensive. It has a wide scattering of weapons and would be way better served committing to one type of weapon and also not bothering with the basic active probe. Overall just a mediocre mech for a high price.

RATING: D

U

Hey this U variant is actually an underwater one. If you have a problem with how fucking Aquaman has been insulting your honor, it is one of the less good underwater mechs out there. 1549 BV is a lot to spend for something with only a short range torpedo 4, long range torpedo 5, and 2 ER medium lasers. UMUs are nice, making this technically the only Ice Ferret with a jump speed, but only underwater so it doesn’t really count.

RATING: F is for Fish

Conclusion

The Ice Ferret is one of the better base model Omni-Mechs we have covered. There are no crippling issues with the core chassis, it has enough armor, enough speed, and an OK amount of pod space. Some variants are mediocre but few are actively bad, and even some of the ones I dislike would be perfectly fine in certain forces and situations. I recommend you take this dumpy-equipped Xbox looking motherfucker out for a few games at some point. It is cheap, cheerful, and does it’s job as a medium mech, unlike certain rattling Clan abominations. Like I said a while ago, there are good Clan Omni-Mechs, but a lot of the Clan Invasion era ones kinda suck. Cheers.